In this post, I thought I’d give you a bit more of an insight into my own disabilities – since that’s kind of the point of this whole blog! I live with Cerebral Palsy, Deafness, ARFID, ADHD and Autism – I think that’s all of them! – as you can see, that’s quite the list! I grew up disabled, I was given many of these labels before I was 10 years old!

The best way to describe managing disability, neurodivergence, and/or chronic illness, is by using the Spoon Theory, created by Christine Miserandino. Imagine starting the day with 10 spoons; these spoons are your budget for the day, and every activity (whether it’s a small or big task) takes up one or multiple spoons out of that budget. You have to factor in what you can and can’t do on a given day or whether you’re going to need to ‘borrow’ spoons from the next days’ allowance.

I have a rather loose routine that I follow, and it means that I can get basics such as brushing my teeth and taking medication done before I move onto tasks that will take up much more of my energy, such as working and socialising.

A lot of my disabilities are dynamic – meaning my abilities fluctuate. Sometimes I can do a bit more than usual, other times I need to do the absolute minimum to just get through the day. This is can depend on a number of different reasons including fluctuating energy levels, diet, and sleep quality. It’s very much a careful balancing act!

Let’s start from the top (more like bottom?):

Cerebral Palsy – If you want the fancy name, the kind I have is called Spastic Diplegia – this means it primarily affects my legs, and means the hamstring and calf muscles are extremely tight and stiff (think of an elastic band stretched to its limit consistently – yep…). It doesn’t just affect those muscles either; as a result, it affects my back, hips and ankles too. I cannot walk properly, so I rely on specialist footwear and mobility aids to walk – but at least my calves look great due to the extra muscle tone!

Deafness – Again, if you want the fancy name, it’s known as Unilateral Deafness. I am completely deaf on my right side, and have been since birth. I have a lot of difficulty with communicating with people in public spaces. Any space where there is noise (especially background noise), it’s a real struggle to hear anything!

ARFID – This stand for Avoidant Restricted Food Intake Disorder. ARFID is categorised by a person avoiding certain types of food. In my case, ARFID manifests itself sensorially – being constantly aware of every texture, smell, temperature, taste and even the look of each bite is incredibly exhausting! My diet is extremely restricted, and has been all of my life; I’m talking chips, (meat-free) nuggets, crisps, chocolate, bread – are you seeing a theme here? My diet consists of various forms of beige, and not much in the way of fruit and veg. It was only recently that I had actually heard of the term ARFID, and it very much explains why everyone was always so worried about my eating habits as a child, and even now as an adult!

ADHD – This stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Now this diagnosis is slightly different from the rest. I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD in August 2024, and the most surprising thing was the lead up. I explored this with a neurodivergent therapist, and it opened a door that explained my entire life: Unable to take in information properly, very poor working memory, losing things that were right in front of me but were out of my line of sight (what my family calls an ‘Owl impression’), needing constant alarms to do just about anything – including when to take breaks – and struggling to maintain a routine for longer than a week – it all made sense now! My autism masked these symptoms for the longest time, so much so that I thought that it was just a part of the autism, not a separate disability; it was a huge relief to have someone finally make sense of what I couldn’t explain.

Autism – Also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder/Condition. For me, I have very intense special interests that can span days, weeks, months, and even years! (Fun fact, I’ve had a special interest in VW T2 campervans for as long as I can remember…) My days are very structured and I rely heavily on routine – yes, this is a direct contradiction to having Inattentive ADHD! – I’ve always struggled so much with interacting with people, people have always made me so anxious, so much so that I’ve missed out on a lot because of that. I have shutdowns, as opposed to meltdowns (not that I don’t get these as well), when I get too overwhelmed in a situation, I feel like I’m not in my body and just sort of ‘zone out’ when it gets too much. This has a very good explanation of what it feels like to have a meltdown or shutdown, if you’d like to learn more.

Navigating day-to-day life is a…unique challenge – but all of these things combined make me, well, me! I have days where I get frustrated with myself and my body, and I’ll admit that I still struggle to see my disabilities in a positive light (thank you, ableism 🫠), but I’ve worked really hard to get where I am now; and I’m on my way to start actually seeing my disabilities and the aids I use as a neutral part of me, and are an extension of myself.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you found this glance into my life useful. In the next one, I’ll be going into more detail about the kinds of aids I use on a daily basis!

L.

Product of the month: Stimagz from Stimara

When I ordered my first set of Stimagz, I’ll admit I was skeptical about whether they would work for me simply because I hadn’t seen a fidget like this before. What I love about Stimagz is the wide range of bold colours that mean you can get a set in your favourite colour (I have the Teal set!), and even more importantly, the discreet and quiet design that make using this unique fidget so comfortable and subtle if you need it to be.

I’ve been using Stimagz for a while, and they’re my absolute go-to fidget when I’m at my desk, out of the house, and even work brilliantly at social events. I always keep a set in my pocket! Stimagz have made a big improvement on my ability to stay focused, as well as the way I manage my anxiety.